Forgiveness can be difficult, depending on how extreme the situation is, although we may see the extremity differently. I may forgive someone for something that another person would never be able too. I can forgive someone that’s made a few times for minor mistakes. I mean, we all make mistakes. When I look back at the mistakes I’ve have been forgiven for, I don’t take that it for granted. When someone makes the same mistakes multiple times, it’s no longer a mistake in my eyes. How can I forgive someone who is deliberately going to hurt me? We shouldn’t let it slide and come up with excuses for them. The number of times we’ve discussed it and tried to move forward. We are just going backward. Then there are the people I didn’t even know. They crashed into my life and hurt me, the people I care about physically or mentally. How do I forgive them? These are the moments of difficulty. There is so much energy that is taken up when you hold a grudge. There is so much energy used when you hang on to anger. There is so much sadness bleeding into your heart. It’s exhausting. I chose to forgive certain people because it frees me a bit. I can move forward a bit, and I can feel a little lighter. I do it for me, not for them. and they don’t have to know. It doesn’t take away the pain, and not everyone will understand it. I’m taking back the energy I would have lost and put it into something better. Something worth it. Make a change for myself, for others who need to get out from under the grey clouds.
One of the greatest feelings is being able to be yourself. Not be judged and feel as though you have to hide parts of yourself.It’s easy to slip into your comfort zone. It’s also easy to close yourself off. Block people out, because you feel you don’t really belong.The time you feel you can be yourself is when you’re home alone. You can say what you want and do what you want. Just be completely comfortable. When the time comes you can be that person in front of someone else. That is when you’ve got something amazing. You can be you and not suddenly feel dumb or embarrassed. What makes it even better, is when that person brings more things out of you that you never even thought you could do. Even enhance it. That’s the people that keep you going and those are the people that need to stick around.They can bring out the best of you and so much more.
Hope is powerful. It takes up so much of your heart, even when you say you’re going to give up on it. It takes hold of you. It’s in everything you do and everything you see. You hope things will get better, you hope you will succeed, you positive things will last, you hope relationships will last. You hope there’s no discrimination, greed and endangerment to so many people. There’s a lot of hope seeping through us. Even when feeling defeated, don’t give up because things will and can turn around for the better. This world we live in has the good, bad, and everything in-between. Sometimes it feels like the bad out-ways the good, and we feel we should back down. We shouldn’t. We shouldn’t feel intimidated by it, because all it takes is one person’s hope and strength to head us in a better direction. When that hope combined together!! We can make so many changes. It’s already been done, so we’ve got to keep putting it forward. It’s an uphill battle but it’s worth the climb. I hope we can do better. I hope we can be better. I hope one day there will be more good that overtakes the bad.
Hi! I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all those that follow my blog and giving such positive responses. It’s great to see how much of us can relate to one another and I can feel good expressing myself on The Amani Diaries. I’ve taken it a step further and doing video diaries. These will be based off the written entries I will continue to add on the site. I felt this adds a more personal touch. NOW listen, I’m not the greatest talker but I just want to get the discussions going and continue to grow with you all! The setting is more in the evening before you go to bed so I’ve got the nightwear, the tea, the laidback vibe. This is because when we may write in our diaries we tend to do it at the end of the day as we’re looking back at all that’s happened. If you don’t write in a diary you tend to have thousands of things racing in your mind just before you go to bed! Thank you again for sticking with me!
Everyone has responsibilities. Their things that need to be taken care of, people that need to be taken care of. There’s that feeling of having to be on the ball as you can’t afford to drop it. All of this weight put on is only pressure that’s building up. We know what happens when there’s too much pressure. But it’s a risk that many are willing to take. The need to make sure everything else is okay is fine, but what about YOU. It’s so easy to lose yourself in someone or something because you don’t want to face… YOU. There are many reasons why someone choses to avoid themselves and make it seem as though they have it all together. But in reality they don’t, simply because they haven’t taken the time for themselves. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. You CAN do it all and that includes adding yourself in the equation. It can be hard at times thinking you can’t afford to do that but you CAN! Start with something small, as looking in the mirror and saying. “I see you. I hear you. I love you.” Then work on what you want and need to take care of for YOU and never think you’re are not worth the thought, energy, or time because YOU deserve it all! Self Love, is the best LOVE!
Written By: @AmanVHenry
Inspired By: Self Love – Ari Lennox, Bas, Dreamville
There’s a lot of things we wish we have or had while we continue with life. You have to make do with what you have around you. It may not always be the best or what you had hoped for, but sometimes it’s just enough to keep you moving forward. There are so many different influences out there that can either lead you to a better direction or the wrong one. Sometimes it’s hard to say you want to do the right thing when what you have around you only has one attitude which is to bring you down. Although it may be tough, you can still try. It’s been proven so it’s not impossible. Whoever we have that will help us, support us, we keep those people close. Together we will make mistakes, learn and grow. We are never forgotten, we are still here and ready to keep on moving up to bigger and better things. Then maybe one day the things we wish we had, we’ll get it.
When we finally get comfortable with who we are, what we do, and our surroundings. The last thing we want is for someone to try and change it. Now, I’m all for trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone, because it can be beneficial to you or even eye-opening. It’s when it’s being forced upon you, that’s where I have a problem. I always try to see why they may want me to change, but they never try to see it from my point of view. Of what it may cost me. Someone else may do it for them, doesn’t mean I would do the same. Putting pressure on me is only going to push me further away and I may become defensive, and why wouldn’t I, It’s about me. We may need to compromise, but I’m not willing to go as far as erasing everything I’ve worked for to get me to who I am and where I am just because it will make someone else feel better. I deserve to feel good about myself. There will be things that will be beyond my control when it comes to some changes, but when I’m in control you better believe I’ll do what I want for me.
There are people that we look up to, admire, and respect. Their actions and things they say can really impact you in a way that makes you feel that bit better about yourself and the world around you. It can be a scary world at times but knowing you can look to these people especially when you need them the most it gives you that bit of strength or boost that you need. We can do some things on our own but we also need someone. It doesn’t necessarily need to be someone you know personally. When you stand for the same thing, going through a similar situation or want to achieve the same goal, you can form this connection. They become your safe haven. It’s amazing how many times you can help a person without even knowing you have. People say ‘watch what you say and do because people are watching ‘and that’s right more now than ever before. If it’s towards something that requires attention or change. Do what needs to be done, especially if you are willing to do just that despite the backfire. We’ve already seen what past strengths can do that’s moved us forward to where we are today. Sure there’s more work to be done but it’s getting done. So thank you to all those that continue to try and we also need to remember as much as we need them they need us to. We can be their safe haven. It’s ok for all of us not to be ok. Thank you to those that have allowed me to take a step towards having more courage, strength, and belief in myself or even just made me laugh at the moment I needed to.
There are a lot of people who are not considerate enough to let you be YOU. They try to hold you down, refusing to let you grow and exceed your full potential. They may be doing it out of their fear and insecurities, not giving themselves a chance. So why should we get that chance? Simple, because we deserve it. We all do. Instead of dragging each other down, we need to be lifting each other up, face those fears and insecurities together, be considerate of the obstacles that are already being faced, and not adding unnecessary glitter on top. (Yes I said glitter because… it get messy). The unfortunate thing is, this is part of the long-standing vicious cycle we get caught in. We can break away from it by lifting ourselves up and doing it our own way, especially if the people around us won’t. It will be hard but we deserve that respect, eventually, we’ll be able to be around the people that will consider us for who we are no matter what. This is the positive cycle. It’s out there and just as strong and it’s growing, just as we will be. At least we’ll have that peace of mind knowing we did what you needed to do for US.
Support, Live, Love, Laugh, we can even happy cry together.
When checking in on people, I’ll sometimes find myself slowly scrolling through my contact list, then hovering over specific names. These names being the ones I haven’t deleted yet. They should be long gone by now, but there they are full name, number, birthday, address, favourite colour, and everything. I joke. Somewhat. They’re still there mainly because of that tiny bit of hope that they may message or call, or I’ll message or call. I mean, enough time has passed. So, if it hasn’t happened by now, it’s most unlikely to but, they could be in the same predicament. Or I’m the only one thinking this, and my number was long deleted. I guess you’ll never know until you try, at least then I’ll know for sure. Look there’s nothing wrong with missing someone and there’s also nothing wrong with finally pressing that delete button. There’s no point being hung up on someone behind me when there’s many more in front.
We tolerate a lot. We have a lot of patience too. You may see people in the street (When there were people out) that loose their patience quickly and that’s not because they’re are impatient… well they are… BUT it’s what they’ve gone through to reach to that point. You see when we tolerate so much it’s only up to an extent. We are not made of stone and even if we were we can be thrown away. The people we keep accepting the hurt they put us through, don’t seem to realise one day we will have had enough and leave. It doesn’t have to be for good but like the saying “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Does apply in this situation. We know exactly who we continue to put us through so much and still stand by. It’ll be great if they also realised it and stop taking advantage. I don’t want to be taking it out on anyone else. Diary if you think I haven’t tried to say something about how I’m feeling the response is mostly that ‘I’m complaining.’ or they apologise and it goes right back into the same thing. The question now is Do you care that much for them to stay or Do you care that much for yourself to leave?
It’s amazing how much we can really get into our feelings. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere… then again it does come from somewhere. We don’t always want to admit it to ourselves but our subconscious doesn’t mess around because when it’s ready to take over it will release all that feeling that’s being suppressed. Sometimes we feel stupid for being in our feelings. Which we shouldn’t. We tell ourselves or are told to just get over it but in order to do that we’ve got to feel it and even then it may take time to embrace that feeling. If we don’t acknowledge our feelings it will consume us. There may be a “Place and Time” for that but when your feelings become that overwhelming it doesn’t matter and quite frankly your mind and body don’t care. So before we unravel, we need to feel whatever it is at that moment at least then you can deal with it better. We should never try to turn people away for how they are feeling as we all react different and just because we may not find it significant it is to them and visa versa. We can do a lot just by listening to each other and ourselves.
Mental Health is important both personally and openly to others that face it. It’s a topic that can be nervewracking to talk about or may seem embarrassing. Let the conversation start and MAY it continue. I wrote this with mind and heart.