Hi! I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all those that follow my blog and giving such positive responses. It’s great to see how much of us can relate to one another and I can feel good expressing myself on The Amani Diaries. I’ve taken it a step further and doing video diaries. These will be based off the written entries I will continue to add on the site. I felt this adds a more personal touch. NOW listen, I’m not the greatest talker but I just want to get the discussions going and continue to grow with you all! The setting is more in the evening before you go to bed so I’ve got the nightwear, the tea, the laidback vibe. This is because when we may write in our diaries we tend to do it at the end of the day as we’re looking back at all that’s happened. If you don’t write in a diary you tend to have thousands of things racing in your mind just before you go to bed! Thank you again for sticking with me!
There are relationships that we tiptoe around. We try not to react at certain things and be careful of what we do because we don’t want it to fall apart. Or do we? Change is a big thing and we don’t always want to make it. We get comfortable in relationships we know we don’t want to be a part of or know we shouldn’t be a part of. As this is all you know and having to start again can be a long and difficult process. So we stick around going over the same thing. In the back of our minds we are hoping something will happen to be seen as such a huge reason to part ways or for them to even say something because and you will be happy to go because you have been ready. You may not want to be the one to be seen as breaking up the relationship. But why should you feel shame in leaving something that’s not working? If you’re not enough to try and work things out then it’s better to go through the long process of meeting someone new. At least then you’ll feel better about it. There’s no point lying to yourself because you know the truth.
When we fall sometimes we feel there’s no point to get back up. You get tired. You get frustrated, but that’s fine! It’s all a part of it. The reason we get back up is because we are strong despite us not thinking it at the time or even other people. We must not underestimate ourselves. Everything is NOT going to go as planned. It’s just how it goes. We may put our all into it and it doesn’t work out. That’s no fault of yours in believing in yourself. Some things just don’t work out. So the next thing to do is work on something else that does or go at it from another angle! When you don’t succeed at one thing we shouldn’t class it as a failure just a lesson to learn from and the tools to go for the next thing. Now there are mountains we will climb to get to where we want to go and when we reach the top the view will be worth all the sweat and tears. We will rise up and when we do it’s gonna be a sight to see.
I spoke about self love and it really had me thinking about how time never sleeps. So we’ve got to insure that in the time we have is spent on the things that really matter to us. We give our all into everything but all of it doesn’t deserve it. There’s so many things we wish to do and we may not get to do it all, but the ones we can we need to stop pushing it aside. There are certain circumstances people are in where it’s tricky to make certain decisions but if you can gain complete control, make the choice you want to make. Go for it! Something’s got to give in order for you to feel that more in control. That bit happier. That bit free from feeling shattered. Or even stuck in the sunken place. (Yes I saw Get Out) haha. No seriously, I’m giving up something I don’t need for something I do, because this is my time and I’m not about to waste it.
Everyone has responsibilities. Their things that need to be taken care of, people that need to be taken care of. There’s that feeling of having to be on the ball as you can’t afford to drop it. All of this weight put on is only pressure that’s building up. We know what happens when there’s too much pressure. But it’s a risk that many are willing to take. The need to make sure everything else is okay is fine, but what about YOU. It’s so easy to lose yourself in someone or something because you don’t want to face… YOU. There are many reasons why someone choses to avoid themselves and make it seem as though they have it all together. But in reality they don’t, simply because they haven’t taken the time for themselves. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. You CAN do it all and that includes adding yourself in the equation. It can be hard at times thinking you can’t afford to do that but you CAN! Start with something small, as looking in the mirror and saying. “I see you. I hear you. I love you.” Then work on what you want and need to take care of for YOU and never think you’re are not worth the thought, energy, or time because YOU deserve it all! Self Love, is the best LOVE!
Written By: @AmanVHenry
Inspired By: Self Love – Ari Lennox, Bas, Dreamville
There’s a lot of things we wish we have or had while we continue with life. You have to make do with what you have around you. It may not always be the best or what you had hoped for, but sometimes it’s just enough to keep you moving forward. There are so many different influences out there that can either lead you to a better direction or the wrong one. Sometimes it’s hard to say you want to do the right thing when what you have around you only has one attitude which is to bring you down. Although it may be tough, you can still try. It’s been proven so it’s not impossible. Whoever we have that will help us, support us, we keep those people close. Together we will make mistakes, learn and grow. We are never forgotten, we are still here and ready to keep on moving up to bigger and better things. Then maybe one day the things we wish we had, we’ll get it.
When we finally get comfortable with who we are, what we do, and our surroundings. The last thing we want is for someone to try and change it. Now, I’m all for trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone, because it can be beneficial to you or even eye-opening. It’s when it’s being forced upon you, that’s where I have a problem. I always try to see why they may want me to change, but they never try to see it from my point of view. Of what it may cost me. Someone else may do it for them, doesn’t mean I would do the same. Putting pressure on me is only going to push me further away and I may become defensive, and why wouldn’t I, It’s about me. We may need to compromise, but I’m not willing to go as far as erasing everything I’ve worked for to get me to who I am and where I am just because it will make someone else feel better. I deserve to feel good about myself. There will be things that will be beyond my control when it comes to some changes, but when I’m in control you better believe I’ll do what I want for me.
There are people that we look up to, admire, and respect. Their actions and things they say can really impact you in a way that makes you feel that bit better about yourself and the world around you. It can be a scary world at times but knowing you can look to these people especially when you need them the most it gives you that bit of strength or boost that you need. We can do some things on our own but we also need someone. It doesn’t necessarily need to be someone you know personally. When you stand for the same thing, going through a similar situation or want to achieve the same goal, you can form this connection. They become your safe haven. It’s amazing how many times you can help a person without even knowing you have. People say ‘watch what you say and do because people are watching ‘and that’s right more now than ever before. If it’s towards something that requires attention or change. Do what needs to be done, especially if you are willing to do just that despite the backfire. We’ve already seen what past strengths can do that’s moved us forward to where we are today. Sure there’s more work to be done but it’s getting done. So thank you to all those that continue to try and we also need to remember as much as we need them they need us to. We can be their safe haven. It’s ok for all of us not to be ok. Thank you to those that have allowed me to take a step towards having more courage, strength, and belief in myself or even just made me laugh at the moment I needed to.
During these times of uncertainty, the mental health of many people around the world is extremely uncertain. The new lifestyle and job uncertainties will be an addition to the preexisting challenges that are being faced. There are a dozen questions that have no answers just yet. The most common question being; When will this subside?
The one question I will be getting an answer too is, ‘How Are You?’ We’ve got to keep checking in on one another. No matter if the person we’re reaching out to is not living by themselves. It helps to see that support is still there. We are not going through this alone and I have myself taken care of. It’s a continuous chain that shouldn’t break, especially now. So when I’m reaching out, I’m letting them know they can continue to reach out to me whenever they need to, as I’ll be right there. Just as before and after all this has subsided. The mental health of all is important. YOU are valued. This needs to be felt through tough and good times. No matter the outcome we’ll work through it together.
You know what can be exhausting? Trying to please everyone. We change ourselves through the things we say, things we do, hold back, grin and bear it and forget that one simple fact: WE CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE. It’s like walking on eggshells! Not that I would ever do that but that’s why it’s called a metaphor. We all have our thoughts and opinions and the way we do things that are not ALWAYS going to be the same. I’ve had that moment I’ve “slipped up” being myself and it was seen as ME not being OKAY. Or ME not being MYSELF. Errr. It’s me but I forgot I had that more acceptable version of myself on. Look the first person I should be focusing on pleasing is myself. The person I see in the mirror everyday, the person I have to live with everyday, the person I have to hear complaints or feel some type of way at the end of the day.
Some of the things I used to do for people was me seeking acceptance until I realised I wasn’t going to get the respect I deserved. The way I acted in specific places was because I didn’t want to be seen as part of a stereotype. The thing is I never gave myself the opportunity to let whoever would accept me for me a chance. It can be tough in certain circumstances. I get that but if we really don’t have to hide who we are… we shouldn’t! And I’ve seen it for a while now and sometimes you can do everything and it’s still not enough! We all know this brave talk can be tough in particular surroundings. All I know is whoever else is out there trying to please somebody that’s not being seen. I get it and I get them, but this cycle needs to slow its roll!!!
There’s a lot of people that come and go in our lives and there’s many reasons why. One thing you can’t deny is that they’ve made an impact. It may not always be so obvious but it’s true. I’ll see them through everything I do. The bad experiences left the scars but also taught me to grow and be cautious, it may affect future relationships to an extent but now I don’t let it consume me. The good experiences may make me sad they’re no longer there and I’ll do that subtle chuckle to myself knowing what they would have said. I’ll see them through my worst and best days always remembering that no matter what, I can keep going. I’m stronger for the pain, happier for the laughs and more knowledgeable for the lessons they’ve taught me.
Mental Health is important both personally and openly to others that face it. It’s a topic that can be nervewracking to talk about or may seem embarrassing. Let the conversation start and MAY it continue. I wrote this with mind and heart.